You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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