I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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