So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
