I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
