If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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