she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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