Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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