i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
