I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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