I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
