You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
