Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
