Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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