he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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