I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
