Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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