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• (319): View more from Iowa

  yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.

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• (661): View more from California

  I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless

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• (512): View more from Texas

  We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"

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• (530): View more from California

  Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm keeping him.

  (714): View more from California

  Sex was good?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.

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