You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
