shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
