I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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