Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
