How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
