who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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