and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
