I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
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