can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
