I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's just like the Real World with babies
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
