My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
