Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
