i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize