I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
