Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Green mimosas i think yes
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
