and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Someone signed my nipple.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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