I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
