now i know why i became what i already was.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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