Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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