between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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