Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize