Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
