Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My cat gives me a boner
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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