fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
