Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
