And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
