you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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