all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
