Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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