i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
