That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I intend to get homeless drunk
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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