the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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