turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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