when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
