"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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