I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
