8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We are all done wearing pants today
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
