I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize