Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
