party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
