It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
