I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
