Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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