To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
