nut hugger
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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