You really coming over, don't trick.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
