I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
