"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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