Where did you get a picture of my penis
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
