Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
