This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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